# (2023-08-02) Vilas's Question: _Don't you exist_? (i.e. Who Am I?)
Tags:: [[Mana]], #metaphysics
## The Question
> [!tip] Question
> - You said **Eryu doesn't exists** — that is **agreeable**
> - **==But don't you feel you exist?==**
> - **For whom you're eating?**
> - **For whom you're enjoying?**
> - **Who is meditating and enjoying the Jhanas**?
> - **Who's seeking Nibbana?**
> - For an Arahat, in seeing there's only seeing.
> - **But who is seeing**?
> [!info] Related Suttas
> - MN72 Aggivacchasutta ([link](https://suttacentral.net/mn72/en/sujato))
> - SN22.85 Yamakasutta ([link](https://suttacentral.net/sn22.85/en/sujato))
## Videos
##### Earlier
> [!tldr] Videos
> - Day 1: https://youtu.be/QMYJ-F0gD48
> - Day 2: https://youtu.be/muramXs8Da0
> - Day 3: https://youtu.be/WTaop2T6VYw
- ayu = battery of a being
- Usma = pana = life force = prana (as in [[Pranayama]])
- Immoral deeds drains the prana
##### 2023-08-06 - Why I = [[Namarupa|Nāmarūpa]]!!!
- https://youtu.be/2aoVsH2Dqyo
- The feeling of "I" = **_Witness Consciousness_** + [[Namarupa|Nāmarūpa]] = [[Sati]]
- [[Namarupa|Nāmarūpa]] = a box of matchsticks (each representing a life)
- all past live memories lives in namarupa (part of namagota)
- namarupa is like a USB hard drive with all past live memories. At Parinibbana, the **"power socket"** of the USB drive is broken so it will NEVER gets re-establish anywhere.
- **_Witness Consciousness** = vinnana = power source = **always in bliss**
- _Witness Consciousness_ = different from the **_6 [[Vinnana|Viññāṇa]]_**
- Jivita indriya = ayu + usma + vinnana (the witness consciousness)
##### 2023-08-09 -Q&A with Sachin
- https://youtu.be/6OZum8EX5i4
## Eryu's Contemplations
- When i'm seeing, i'm the **seer**
- When i'm hearing, i'm the **hearer**
- When i'm smelling, i'm the **smeller**
- When i'm touching, i'm the **toucher**
- When i'm feeling, i'm the **feeler**
- When i'm thinking, i'm the **thinker**
- What about **feeling** and **perceiving** (e.g. the **Jhana**)?
- What if i'm not seeing, hearing, ... thinking? **Do I still exist?**
- Answer: **then "i" becomes unestablished**
- so when that happens, **i cannot say i exist, nor can i say it doesn't exist**. but it's just **==unestablished==**. #eryu/insight/major
- TODO: **To be continued**
##### 2023-09-06 - What is Mind and "I"!
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTJvFu27Gms (Experiencing Deathless)
- Discussed what is the "Mind" (Manas, which is different from Mano), and **what is "I"?**
- First meeting with #Guha
- **==5 Levels of "I"==** — 1) **5 aggregate**, 2) **5 ayatana**, 3) **namarupa** 4) **vinnana** 5) **citta** #eryu/learning/major
### Other thoughts Notes
- **=="no return to any state of existence _(nāparaṁ itthattāyā)_"==** is NOT the same as **=="doesn’t exist after death _(na hoti paraṁ maraṇā)_"==**
### Suttas (found by Eryu)
#### Potential solutions
![[DN11 Kevaṭṭasutta#^vinnanam-anidasannam|DN11]]
![[SN12.64 Atthirāgasutta#^doesnt-land]]
![[MN62 Mahārāhulovādasutta#^asmi-mana-give-up]]
#### Wrong views
![[DN1 Brahmajālasutta#^62-wrong-views|DN1]]
![[SN22.85 Yamakasutta#^non-existence]]
![[MN38 Mahātaṇhāsaṅkhayasutta#^same-consciousness]]
## Answer
- [[Namarupa|Nāmarūpa]]
- See [[AN3.61 Titthāyatanasutta]]