# (2023-04-07) (Superb) (5-min) How to spread Loving & Kindness | on [[Metta]] > [!info] Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7kD5yjEa14 ## These are the 5 steps: (**Great #formula !!**) 1. Identity and notice the ***constricted* or a *heaviness* feeling** appearing in the heart region. Understand that it arose due to an "ill-will" which was developed. 2. Start to **==*forgive* oneself==** for having developed the ill-will — repeat that **_==it's not my genuine intention to be an "enemy" with anyone, nor to "harm" anyone==_**; but rather, **I am in pain** because I did not have **enough skill to handle the situation**. When done correctly, a "lightness" can be felt at the heart. 3. At this moment, reflect upon that it is **due to "expectations"** created in the mind that **I was *harsh*** to others, yet, because **everything in life is "conditioned"**, it's **bound to create suffering**, for me and for others involved. 4. **Let go** of that thought of ill-will which has appeared by saying as indicated in the video 5. **Watch the *Lightness*** which would be felt in the heart, and now ***Reside*** in it. ## Eryu's Steps 1. First, pay attention to the **center of the chest**, and notice that it has a **"heavy" feeling**, and due this this heaviness, I'm **not able to feel "happy"** — this is happening because of the accumulated frustration and anger. 1. Saying to yourself: **"Hey, I know you're suffering. It mustn't be easy."**️ (like speaking to your own son) 2. Now, **Forgive myself** for feeling **frustrated** — saying to myself: **"It's ok for me to feel frustrated. It's ok for me to feel angry."** - Because, it's **not my wish** to be angry or frustrated, but only because I **don't know how to deal with the situations**, and on how to deal with the angry feelings. 3. After you feel a little relieved from the self blame, repeat to yourself: 1. _It's **not my wish to be an enemy** with anyone (including myself)_ 2. _It's **not my wish to hurt or harm** anyone (including myself)_ 3. _It's **not my wish to hate or blame** anyone (including myself)_ 4. _But i am having **a lot of pain** because i cannot handle the situation_ 5. _**May I be free from the pain of frustration and anger!**_ 6. _**May I be happy!!**_ 4. Repeat the above steps until you feel a big **relief** and **expansion** in the center of the heart 5. Now, Repeat this process for 1) your loved ones, 2) your friends and family, 3) your neighbors and fellow city/country man, 4) everyone in the world. - Replace _"I don't ..."_ with _"Wish they don't ..."_. Replace _"May I be ..."_ to _"May they be ..."_ 6. When done correctly, you should feel the heart feel more and more expanded, and a joy feeling starts to arise. 7. Now you can meditate in this joyful feeling. ### Chinese 首先，看到自己内心的痛苦（心口有一股积压的闷气）。和自己说：“我知道，你很难过。你受委屈了。” 然后用双臂抱抱自己。 然后，原谅自己。和自己说：“我知道你很难过，不过这不要紧的。我知道你内心有怨恨，这也不要紧的”。 为什么？ 因为，并不是我愿意感到难过和怨恨。这并不是我想要的。但我感到无能为力，不知道应该怎么做。 之后，在**==心中不断的重复这几句话==**： 1. 我并不愿意和任何人为敌 2. 我并不愿意伤害任何人 3. 我并不愿意去记恨或者责备任何人 4. 可是我的内心充满了不满和愤怒，这让我感到很痛苦。 5. 我希望，我可以放下内心所有的不满和怨恨！ 6. 我希望，可以得到内心的安乐！ 持续这样做，一直到心口的“闷气“消散为止。这时候心口会感到一阵轻松，内心中会有伴随而来的轻快的感受。