Related:: [[Ariya]], [[Brahmacariya]] Tags:: #friend # Kalyāṇa-mitta (Admirable/Dhamma Friends) ![[SN45.2 Upaḍḍhasutta#^half-of-the-path]] ![[Thag17.3 Ānandattheragāthā#^brahmacariya]] ## Following "Sappurisa" ![[MN75 Māgaṇḍiyasutta#^following-sappurisa]] ## How to be a Beloved and Respectable Spiritual Friend? > [!success] A Beloved and Respectable Spiritual Friend — In Sīlavantasutta ([AN5.87](https://suttacentral.net/an5.87/en/sujato)) > “A senior mendicant with five qualities is **==dear== and ==beloved==** to their **spiritual companions**, **==respected== and ==admired==**. > _“Pañcahi, bhikkhave, dhammehi samannāgato thero bhikkhu **sabrahmacārīnaṁ** **==piyo==** ca hoti **==manāpo==** ca **==garu==** ca **==bhāvanīyo==** ca._ > > **What five**? > _Katamehi pañcahi?_ > > --- > **(1) They’re ethical**, restrained in the monastic code, conducting themselves well and resorting for alms in suitable places. **Seeing danger in the slightest fault**, they keep the rules they’ve undertaken. > > _**==Sīlavā==** hoti, pātimokkhasaṁvarasaṁvuto viharati. Ācāragocarasampanno aṇumattesu vajjesu bhayadassāvī, samādāya sikkhati sikkhāpadesu;_ > > **(2) They’re very learned**, remembering and keeping what they’ve learned. These teachings are good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end, meaningful and well-phrased, describing a spiritual practice that’s entirely full and pure. They are very learned in such teachings, remembering them, rehearsing them, mentally scrutinizing them, and penetrating them theoretically. > > _**==bahussuto==** hoti sutadharo sutasannicayo, ye te dhammā ādikalyāṇā majjhekalyāṇā pariyosānakalyāṇā sātthaṁ sabyañjanaṁ kevalaparipuṇṇaṁ parisuddhaṁ brahmacariyaṁ abhivadanti, tathārūpāssa dhammā bahussutā honti dhātā vacasā paricitā manasānupekkhitā diṭṭhiyā suppaṭividdhā;_ > > **(3) They’re a good speaker who enunciates well**, with a polished, clear, and articulate voice that expresses the meaning. > > _**==kalyāṇavāco==** hoti **==kalyāṇavākkaraṇo==** poriyā vācāya samannāgato vissaṭṭhāya anelagaḷāya atthassa viññāpaniyā;_ > > **(4) They get the four absorptions**—blissful meditations in this life that belong to the higher mind—when they want, without trouble or difficulty. > > _**==catunnaṁ jhānānaṁ==** ābhicetasikānaṁ diṭṭhadhammasukhavihārānaṁ nikāmalābhī hoti akicchalābhī akasiralābhī;_ > > **(5) They realize the undefiled freedom of heart and freedom by wisdom** in this very life. And they live having realized it with their own insight due to the ending of defilements. > > _**==āsavānaṁ khayā==** anāsavaṁ cetovimuttiṁ paññāvimuttiṁ diṭṭheva dhamme sayaṁ abhiññā sacchikatvā upasampajja viharati._ > > --- > A senior mendicant with these five qualities is dear and beloved to their spiritual companions, respected and admired.” > _Imehi kho, bhikkhave, pañcahi dhammehi samannāgato thero bhikkhu sabrahmacārīnaṁ piyo ca hoti manāpo ca garu ca bhāvanīyo cā”ti._ ## Wonder alone, if you cannot find a wise friend > [!NOTE] In Nāgavagga (Elephants) — Dhammapada ([Dhp328-330](https://suttacentral.net/dhp320-333/en/sujato)) > If you find an **alert companion**, > _Sace labhetha nipakaṁ sahāyaṁ,_ > > **a wise and virtuous friend**, > _Saddhiṁ caraṁ sādhuvihāridhīraṁ;_ > > then, overcoming all adversities, > _Abhibhuyya sabbāni parissayāni,_ > > **wander with them, joyful and mindful**. > _Careyya tenattamano satīmā._ > > --- > **If you find no alert companion**, > _No ce labhetha nipakaṁ sahāyaṁ,_ > > **no wise and virtuous friend**, > _Saddhiṁ caraṁ sādhuvihāridhīraṁ;_ > > then, like a king who flees his conquered realm, > _Rājāva raṭṭhaṁ vijitaṁ pahāya,_ > > **wander alone like a tusker in the wilds**. > _Eko care mātaṅgaraññeva nāgo._ > > --- > **It’s better to wander alone**, > _Ekassa caritaṁ seyyo,_ > > **there’s no fellowship with fools**. > _Natthi bāle sahāyatā;_ > > Wander alone and do no wrong, > _Eko care na ca pāpāni kayirā,_ > > at ease like a tusker in the wilds. > _Appossukko mātaṅgaraññeva nāgo._ ## Suttas - SN45.2 Upaḍḍhasutta (Half the Spiritual Life) ([link](https://suttacentral.net/sn45.2/en/sujato)) - Buddha said to Ananda that kalyāṇamitta is the _whole_ of the holy life - AN5.40 Mahāsālaputtasutta ([link](https://suttacentral.net/an5.40/en/sujato)) - Just as a tree relies on the mountain to grow, 5 things grow as one rely on a person with faith — faith, ethics, learning, generosity, wisdom. - AN5.87 Sīlavantasutta ([link](https://suttacentral.net/an5.87/en/sujato)) - Bhikkhu with these 5 qualities are beloved spiritual friends